March 2, 1998
Although the most commonly asked question (How do I position myself
to get a good partner at a dance without being too obvious?) is
unanswerable, here are a few useful suggestions for our audience on several
topics of interest.
What should I do when someone who just turned me down gets up
and dances with another partner? Is there a proper response for this kind
of behavior? Please advise.
Aggrieved On The Dance Floor
While most people are tempted to grab the offender by the hair and
threaten him with the sort of bodily damage that would prevent a recurrence
of the offenseor any offense, for that matterthere is only one really
correct thing to do in this situation. Smile graciously, avert your eyesand
never, ever ask that person to dance again!
What do I do if I've just turned someone down for a dance, and
the next minute the woman of my dreams asks me to dance?
In a Bind in Boston
See previous letter.
One of my favorite partners has recently stopped asking me to
dance. I have no idea why this has happened, and I don't know how to handle
it. What should I do?
Disappointed at the Dance
A number of alternatives are available to you; each has its proponents.
- One: Make a point of asking all your partners' friends if they
know why she is ignoring you. This may shame her into asking you to
dance again. Then you can say no.
- Two: Tell yourself that your former partner is a lousy dancer,
a terrible partner, a boring conversationalist, and that you'd rather
not dance with her anyway.
- Three: If your partner is a good dancer, she may be overwhelmed
with offers to dance. You need to approach her and ask for a dance.
Chances are she'll be delighted to see you and may have missed dancing
From the Boston Swing Dance Society Newsletter, Jan/Feb, 1994. Reprinted
with permission of the author.
Do you have questions about proper behavior on the dance floor? Please
send them to DanceNet and they'll be
forwarded to Grace.
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