The Soapbox Archives:
I think I already said that my knowledge of the writings of the Bible is very thin. My wife had gotten me a copy of the Bible with a lot of notes, kinda like training wheels for the newbie. I barely cracked it open but for the purposes of this conversation, that was okay. The conversation was not about understanding the Word of God; rather, I was being asked for my opinion on various writings.
The first one, I'm sure you'll recognize the passage, the one that goes something like "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." The speaker, of course, was Jesus, and the question was, with whom was Jesus speaking? I thought he was talking to God from whom we receive the final act of forgiveness. Other opinions thought Jesus was talking to the two people being crucified with him. I didn't know, but that made me think of a different situation.
For most of my dancing life (27 years, I think), I think I can say that I really disliked only two people. Long-timers who know me might know who they are. I felt they made my dancing life harder than it needed to be; I almost quit dancing after my first 5 years. However, years ago, I decided that one of them (let's call him Person A) was very stupid. He truly did not know that he shouldn't have treated people poorly, but I'm not sure he really understood the consequences of this actions and how much he hurt people. He wasn't doing bad things because he was evil. He liked to justify himself by saying it wasn't personal. No, he did them because he didn't know any better. It's kinda hard to hate someone one who was stupid. They didn't know any better. That didn't mean I had to like them. No, I went and told Person A that I didn't like him, even though he stupidly thought I had gotten over his actions against me. The look on his face when I told him was worth the 10 year wait for that moment. He had thought he had gotten away with it. But, yet, because I decided that he was a jerk because he was stupid, I decided that I didn't need to hate him anymore.
Which brings up a second point, about where the Bible ways "Love thy neighbor" which apparently causes a lot of distress among believers. Sometimes, some individuals will cause an offense but the good book tells us to forgive "trespasses" (depending on which version of the Bible you use). I interpret that to mean, you should learn to forgive, but it doesn't say you have to forget the transgression.
One of my favorite sayings in life goes like this:
And I remember how someone made me feel. Someone that I incorrectly considered a friend did something that greatly offended me and they made me angry. It was a long time ago and I haven't forgotten. I know that no apology will be forthcoming. This person (let's call him Person B) caused grief to me and he knows it. He's quite aware that I hate his guts and I always will. Like Person A, Person B caused great offense to me when I thought I was his friend. But, unlike Person A, Person B is really smart and everything he does was deliberate and malicious. And I know I wasn't his only victim. For such a person, there is no forgiveness and definitely certainly no forgetting. I'm guessing that I'm imperfect because I can forgive someone who did bad things out of ignorance, but I can't forgive someone who's evil. I think I can live with that.
However, it was a third insight that made the most impact on me that day. One of the other people in the discussion brought it up and I thought it was brilliant.
When you read in the 10 Commandments, number three says that "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain...". I had always understood that to be an admonishment against invoking God when swearing, as in "G** damn it!". I heard a new interpretation of that commandment. That commandment was a warning against taking God's words and twisting it to fit your own narrative. For instance, when someone hiding behind their Christian shield tells you that God tells you to hate homosexuals, they are twisting God's word to justify their own bias and hatred. For instance, there's one particular "man of the cloth" who was telling everyone that gay people were responsible for 9/11 and hurricanes. In this example, there is nothing in the Bible that speaks against homosexuals. That person is doing exactly what the Third Commandment is telling us not to do. The next time you hear evil from the mouths of people who consider themselves followers of God, ask them where it's written that it's what God really said. Their likely reaction is anger and confusion that they couldn't fool you into committing other breaches against the Word of God and against your fellow citizens.
As I've said before, this website has been around for 28 years (there abouts), mostly through the webmaster's personal stubborness than anything else. But survive, it did just that. I think I've outlasted a few other dance websites in Boston.
At the same time, I'm sure that there are a lot of established venues who don't feel like they need to have anything to do with this website anymore and their customers know exactly where they want to go dancing. There's no need for those dancers to find out where they want to go dancing through this website anymore. And that's okay. Especially since that's happened to this website many times over.
What dance venues need to remember is that this website is useful to new dancers. If some people see a TV show like "Dancing with the Stars" (which I hate, by the way) or just see people dancing in the wild, they might go looking for dancing information on the Internet. I remember first seeing a couple dancing at the old Boston, Boston! night club (I wasn't "legal" back then) while holding hands and doing stuff, wondering how they were coordinating their movements. I remember wanting know their secret and be able to dance like them.
So I was the kind of person this website was intended for: a wannabe dancer who wanted to know where to learn and go to dance.
Just a simple search for dance venues can be daunting. Where are these places? What kinds of dancing are there? Would I be welcome there? Would the other dancers be encouraging? Getting their dance venue information listed on this website will reach those new dancers.
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A graduate of Dominic Savio High School and UMass Boston. Recently retired, proficient in a dozen programming languages, Anthony worked as a Sr. Software Engineer for companies in Massachusetts and other states; he was a well-loved teacher of math and computer science in Boston public schools. In addition to his passion for his profession, he loved ballroom dancing and devoted hours to promoting lessons and events for the benefit of all who shared his love of music and dance. Full of natural rhythm, he was very fond of disco era music as well as American standard songs of the ballroom world. He even tried Karaoke.
He was welcoming and encouraging of dance newcomers, imparting knowledge and enthusiasm for social dancing, without his developing any desire to perform. Being cajoled into team performances by friends led to mixed results. But always lead to joy, fun, and more friends. Over the years, he was very appreciative of dance instructors and venue hosts who created a world where he was comfortable. Eventually he became an essential feature of the social dance world by providing a free online dance calendar on his own website. Extraordinarily detailed and accurate, and very much needed, especially after covid. All dancers who used it could rely on their contact information being kept private, not commercialized. The dance community is not the same without him. Anthony was a person who spread joy and happiness wherever he went and his passing has left a gap in the social dance community.
Anthony enjoyed sports, playing basketball and tennis in his younger days, and was a big fan of the Patriots and Red Sox. He enjoyed watching competitive figure skating, Star Trek, westerns, and melodramas on TCM.
A staunch friend, always there to lend a listening ear, offer a helping hand, or share a laugh. His loyalty knew no bounds. Anthony's friendship was a gift, and those fortunate enough to have known him were truly blessed.
In lieu of flowers, contributions in Anthony's memory may be made to the University of Massachusetts
Boston, University Advancement Fund, 100 Morrissey Blvd, Boston, MA 02125 or online at